Worst Opening Sentences

The Longest Journey by E.M. Forster: "The cow is there," said Ansell, lighting a match and holding it out over the carpet.

Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy: When Farmer Oak smiled, the corners of his mouth spread till they were within an unimportant distance of his ears, his eyes were reduced to chinks, and diverging wrinkles appeared round them, extending upon his countenance like the rays in a rudimentary sketch of the rising sun.