Literary Humor

Headline of a review of Exit Ghost by Philip Roth: Do Not Go Gentile into that Good Night.

My wife, on finding I'd eaten all the Doritos: "Is this the face that munched a thousand chips?"

G.K. Chesterton was an enormous man. A woman once asked him why he wasn't out at the Front. His reply: "If you go round to the side, you will see that I am." On another occasion, he told George Bernard Shaw: "To look at you, anyone would think there was a famine in England." Shaw's reply: "To look at you, anyone would think you caused it."

"Meredith is a prose Browning, and so is Browning. He used poetry as a medium for writing in prose." - Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde on George Bernard Shaw: "An excellent man: he has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

"I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English." - Saki

"In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language." - Mark Twain

"I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself." - Mark Twain

"An Englishman wouldn't bother to attend a reading even if the author in question was his favorite living writer, and also his long-lost brother — even if the reading was taking place next door." - Martin Amis